Real America: From security to change

I never thought that I would be here in America. Obviously it was my dream from childhood after I knew that 1 dollar equals 70 rupees but I never knew that my dream would come true. Fortunately it became true and now I am here. I remember the days when I used to fill auto book of my friends and I used to mark America as the ‘place of interest’. I remember the days, when I used to search for the newspapers just to see the ‘currency exchange rate’ and keep those in my wallet. I remember the days, when I used to follow tourists visiting camps without knowing ‘all tourists are not Americans’. Seriously, I never knew that they were foreigners and not just Americans. Thinking of all these, I remember a Facebook and yahoo chat’s term LOL (Laugh Out Loud).

I always dreamt of being in America. I didn’t know the truth about it but still I was living with my dream. I always used to touch paint when someone said its wait but I never had any arguments with people who used the phrase ‘America is heaven’. And now I am in this heaven.

I have been living here for a while looking for heavenly world. I have been trying to find peace and prosperity for long. I have been waiting to see the gods of opportunities here and I am not yet finished. I agree that, America is a developed country. I also agree that, there are no further developments necessary for people of this time, probably for coming generation but not this time.

My dream came true but my knowledge failed.

For almost two and half years, I sleep every night, praying that no one breaks up my window and no one robs my community people while returning from job. I know, it was not secure for people of our tribe to live in Bhutan and they fled from there. It was same case in Nepal. But it is a terrific case in America. I agree that we ate one time a day. We wore same cloth for almost two weeks but still our sleep was comfortable even in a bamboo bed with thorns and everything. We have everything here in easily accessible point but still no sound sleep, why? Is it because, it costs a lot to perform a funeral observation. We all know about expensive funeral ceremony here in the United States. If you are still unknown come to Georgia. But I don’t think that is just the reason. There are many hidden reasons. Obviously, there are but I am not sure how can deliver those in these words as many feelings are not just limited with the imitated structures of words and I can’t even be involved in debate with intellectuals on this of our community. We have seen our educated and learned mass of our community. They are lots of flower to show and I don’t. This is the reason, why I can’t debate.

Everywhere, life runs in probability. If not this, then ,that will happen; and if not that, then, this will happen. My post will either be published or trashed because many educated people force themselves to not understand the simpler terms I use. This is the case here in America. While returning from somewhere I will either reach home safely or I will be robbed, even murdered. I agree that criminal activities like robbery and murder was there in Nepal too but we never got depressed with that news but a simple harassment here gives terrific pain and sleepless nights. Is it because, in Nepal, robbers and criminals were our own people and in America not? Or is it because they carry a gun with them? May be true in some aspects but not hundred percent. I think its because, we have forgotten to enjoy the sunshine and platform of soil. Might also be because, we know the truth of mass exodus in Bhutan. This mass exodus signs “ We can do nothing” in block letters in our mind and heart.

We came here. We learned here. We started to be independent here but we are not yet known with the steps getting a sound sleep and healthy visits. We grew unexpectedly in just one thing and that is behavioral and physical change. We Americanized just on this field. On the rest, we are same folk; Nepali of Bhutanese origin. I see lots of changes in appearance of my people and may be you all too. That is also advancement and I salute. I see change from hidden love letters to open dating at home. I see change from one hour walk to film hall to a spacious car. I see a change from ‘Going to be’ to ‘Gonnabe’, I see a change from ‘Rame’ and ‘Lakhane’ to dude and guy. We left getting rations and bamboo. We left lines in water tap. We left suffocating briquette. We haven’t left just one thing; ‘Nepali heart’, that’s why we still collect funds for funerals and other observations. These are interesting, aren’t they?

Now I am done. I don’t mean with writing but with thinking. I don’t want to think anymore. I want to think no more about ‘private calling’, beer party every Friday, out-of-state tour, and fifteen hours of volunteer service to www.yahoo.com . Do you know why? It is because, tonight I want to sleep, and I am in full mood to have sound sleep tonight. I am not sure about tomorrow. So, take care and have a wonderful time. I’ll catch you later.